Dating 101

October 5, 2020 0 By Angela

With everything going on it is apparent that it has become harder and harder to remain positive when it comes to dating however if you continue to see the same results you might want to look at the first impression that you are leaving. Too often I receive feedback from one of my clients that they liked the other person and would love to see them again but then when receiving feedback from the other person they say that initially, they liked them but the negative attitude throughout the first date was a turnoff. First dates can create so much anxiety and trying to create some sort of conversational rhythm with a stranger can be difficult. First meetings are often filled with awkward lulls in conversation, filled with nervous laughter and that leads to grasping at straws for topics to extend the date. Making a good first impression is crucial for any potential chemistry but sometimes, anxiety forces you to bring up things you never should on a first date. There are certain topics that you must avoid when dating to have success. First dates should be kept light and positive. Work on getting to know your date without interrogating them. There are a few topics that you should never talk about on first dates.

1) Ex’s- Never discuss how awful your ex was or how bad your past relationships were. It makes you look like a bitter ex. 

2) Politics- Especially right now. There is too much division and can easily become too intense for a first date. 

3) Religion-This is something personal and does not need to be discussed early on.

4) Family history- Not everyone had the best childhood and discussing this topic and make the first date very heavy. 

5) Marriage and Children- Never discuss your timeline in regards to getting married and having kids. Simply too soon.

6) Sexual history- Sex in general. Do not be that person. Even if there is chemistry between you two, this is a turnoff!

7) Work drama- Nobody wants to hear about the drama that is going on at work. 

8) Money- Never discuss how little or how much money you have.

9) Past dating- Do not discuss how much you are dating. This is not something that someone that you are just meeting needs to know.

10) Your surroundings- If you have a bad waiter/waitress or there is someone rude in the establishment, don’t focus on that. Keep your focus on the person you are with. Being distracted or drawn into what is going on around you will turn the attention of your date away from you. Find the humor in it and move on. 

Remember that “dating is a journey, not a destination”. The majority of dates don’t lead to long-term relationships even though that is the goal. Try not to place yourself on an emotional roller coaster. It’s great to go into each date with a positive attitude but don’t assume that this is the one. It only sets you up for disappointment if it doesn’t result in a second date. It’s important to not come undone after each unsuccessful date and be grateful for what you have going well in your life.

Remember, stay in the present. Don’t bring up the past too many times if the topics you are discussing is negative. Don’t weigh your date down with sad or gloomy details of your past. There is no room for you to bring your baggage on a first date so don’t bring it along. Avoiding these few topics on a first date isn’t about misrepresenting yourself, It’s about showcasing the best you possible. The first impression may very well be the last one if you don’t keep dates fun and uplifting. Remember the goal is to fun, lot’s of laughter, and you will turn that first date into a second and third.